Response to Dying in Iowa

(See: Just Above Sunset: Dying in Iowa)

And now, for your amusement, another topical Iowa reference:

Q: "Is this Hell?" 

A: "No, it's Iowa."

Although the tragedy occurring in that state right now may actually be no laughing matter, it's hard not to relate when you notice that every reporter and pundit of every stripe in Des Moines that showed up on TV last night seemed to be smiling, sort of as I've always imagined many passengers on the sinking Titanic did once they concluded there was nothing more that could be done to stop it from happening.

I decided to watch the debate anyway last night, despite how boring it was bound to be, but found myself pleasantly surprised. Yes, it was boring, and predictably stupid, but not nearly as annoying as it would have been had Donald Trump been there -- not just because of the things he always says but more because of that constant mugging and gesturing when the other contestants are talking, which the camera just can't seem to ignore.

I was left with the feeling that, because Trump always seems to dumb down any room he's in, the tone was a smidge higher last night. Still, yes, the candidates' pre-rehearsed bits did seem to grate that much more without Trump there to break up their rhythm. I'm pretty sure that somewhere in the country, someone was playing a drinking game over that crescendoed phrase, "And when I become president..." (Hey, guys, you can't all become president -- and in fact, it is my sincere hope that none of you do.)

Did his not being there help him or hurt him?

I have to confess, it's impossible for me to say, since knowing that also requires knowing the nature of whatever nonsense it is that's rattling around in the skulls of those who are seriously considering voting for him. But I'm pretty sure those who had been supporting him before last night were probably impressed with his doing that, especially since if they had any inclination to suspect that his shenanigans are cheapening the whole idea of our maintaining America as a self-governing democracy, they probably wouldn't have been backing him all along.

Speaking of shenanigans, now and then, we did switch over to CNN, which was not carrying what could only be called "The Trump Event" gavel-to-gavel, so to speak, but covered it much as they cover political conventions -- that is, jumping in and out at will, sometimes staying on Donald at the podium, but often splitting the screen, with the "event" in one box and a guest being interviewed in another. But oddly enough, even with the network's attempt at breaking up the monotony of the show, it was even more boring than the real thing across town.

But we did stay long enough to notice the predictable nature of it all. For awhile, I thought it would be like a Jerry Lewis Telethon, but without all the jugglers and the crocodile tears at the end.

In fact, the idea of the Trump campaign promoting this as a charity event, not a political event, reminded me of the campus animal house taking time off to remind people that, in addition to hosting drunken toga parties, they also support two starving children overseas somewhere.

And the prediction that they would collect maybe $5-million, "maybe even more" (they ended up announcing they took in $6-million) was diminished by the suspicion that the whole thing was a hoax, with all those big donors -- including $1-million from Donald himself -- having ponied up before anyone took to the stage. But if you think $6-million is a whopping amount, remember that Trump himself has talked of getting his first start in business with what he referred to, without irony, as a "small loan" of $1-million from his father.

To top it off, there seemed to be an ongoing controversy as to who would be the recipient of the donations. Last I heard, none of the regular veteran groups would have anything to do with this. But I guess that's totally beside the point.

And the scariest thing about all of this shady business was that the thug behind it still seems to maintain enough support to be the frontrunner in Iowa, maybe headed for a win there and in New Hampshire, and maybe beyond.

But yes, in spite of the fact that it becomes increasingly obvious that our ship of state is in peril, it's hard not to look at all these Damon Runyonesque goings-on and laugh, having concluded that there is nothing more that can be done to stop this from happening.